“You can’t call it love until you’ve lost; if you love someone, this is what it costs.”
This line from a Switchfoot song really stood out to me as I flew out of San Francisco headed back to Canada on my recent trip to visit my family.
I’ve lost a lot of people in the cancer community, especially in this last year, but the lyrics particularly hit me in light of showing our recent film, “How to Win a Tickle Fight,” to some family and neighborhood friends on my last night home.
The film follows Brock and his family as he is dying from his metastatic cancer and shows his desire to live and love fully even while life is really not that good. Brock passed away in November of this year, and his death will have a lasting impact on Mikey and I. But it’s not only those we lose to death that impact and change us; it’s the loss from living away from loved ones, of experiencing the loss of dreams and plans, of losing life direction.
My love is so much deeper for my family because we live far away, and I’m reminded of this every time I fly away, listening to lyrics about California and feeling sad and happy and grateful all at the same time… It’s a loss, really, to not experience daily life ups and downs together and to miss out on sharing moments of life with one another.
my Aunt Sue and her homemade honey from their bees!
my Uncle Curt exploring SnapChat (username Bonnie Lang (buffbon))!
But at the same time, it’s rich and raw and real and just what life is – up and down! And you know what? I love the ocean, I love California, I love my family with their unique quirks, reliance on God, and black coffee overload, in-depth conversations.
I also love the Rocky Mountains and my backcountry skiing life, shared conversations over fires in winter with my in-laws and my strong community in our friend group.
They are my family away from family, my home away and from home, and life is full and rich and meaningful because of it all. The constant is that God is always present, always working, never tiring in his efforts to pursue me and love me, to provide direction and grace and movement in my story.
I want to be fully present wherever life takes me; that’s something I learned from Brock, and also from another Switchfoot song: “And where I’ll be is where you’ve found me. Meet me here at the edge of the earth.”
Meet me. Enter into life with me. Live fully even if life is hard right now, if you’re experiencing loss, grieving or feeling confused about life. Meet me and move with me, as God guides, and let’s hold the good and the bad simultaneously as we lean into Jesus for his name. Let’s be people who embrace life fully without fear of the future or worry, love the people around us and live my old life mantra, “huck it huge!” …And let your parents, in-laws, friends, and co-workers know that you value them. 🙂
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Some highlights of the trip included:
Workouts at BodyZing!
Shopping with my mom! And this California shirt she bought me:
Lots of ocean time! Oh man…the smells around the coast are so nostalgic for me and I just love breathing in the salt air and the family flowers and plants of the area!
Lots of good music (like Kris Kristofferson and Gordon Lightfoot and classic songs we grew up on) and coffee and good talks about how we’re living here and now and as we look ahead.
It was a fantastic trip and I’m so grateful I have a job that allows me flexibility and the chance to get away, and that God has provided enough that both Mikey and I can live an unconventional lifestyle. From meaningful talks to good workouts to shared tears and lots of licorice, it was great to hang around my mom and dad – a needed trip for us all! Hope you guys are having a great week so far…Talk to you soon!
Live well & be well,