If you had more hours in a day, what you do with it? Get that workout in? Read more books? Meet a friend for lunch? Write some letters to your aunt or uncle?
I was chatting the other day with my mom – one of the only people with whom I really talk about my physical struggles with, partly because I don’t need to voice it that often, partly because I know I’m strong and healthy and fit and partly because we all need an outlet, personal trainer or not. 😉
We were referencing people in our lives who seem consumed by exericse or how they eat, noting that we, too, have had moments where we were to consumed with these thoughts. I made the comment that I just don’t WANT to spend that much of my free time thinking thoughts about my body, my next meal, or getting another workout in. It’s not worth the time and stress to me, nor is it worth me sacrificing certain foods or events in order to maintain the level of lean-ness that I desire.
This idea came up again last night while having dinner with two friends – sisters – from the gym. In a funny moment, one of my friend’s belts popped open after dinner, the straps so thin they finally gave way, and her sister remarked, “I hope you don’t take that the wrong way and let it worry you!” Both women are healthy, fit and attractive, and I commented that she didn’t seem like the girl who had those thoughts too often. She proceeded to tell me that she heard via a Ted Talk recently that women, on average, think thoughts about their bodies (“Does this light make me look good?” “My thighs look fat when I’m sitting.”) every 30 seconds. 30 seconds! That’s nuts! And we all agreed we’ve been there, done that. And sometimes get sucked back into those thoughts, but our intention is to simply not give ourselves that much thought.
Think about if you had more time in your mind – filled with less of you and more of others. Or more time to think about life. To make decisions. To be kind to yourself. What if more of these thoughts took over?
If we are thinking these thoughts every 30 seconds (on average, and of course not every woman struggles with this, and I’m sure it’s not exclusive to women), you can add that up and deduce that we’re spending TOO MUCH time thinking (mostly critical) thoughts about ourselves. So, if you had time, what would you think about and how would you spend that resulting time?
I’d be grateful for the sky, for crisp air in Calgary that stings a bit but makes me feel alive when I step outside. I’d think about friends and remember to turn those thoughts into prayers. I’d probably look up good recipes and take time to make some healthy food instead of looking up workouts to work off those gummy bears.
More confirmation on this topic came when I received the most recent newsletter from Neghar Fonooni. She talks about how much her weight fluctuates lately (~7 lbs, which makes me feel pretty normal with about a 4 lbs weight change in either direction) but how she’s so much happier. To quote Neghar:
My life is awesome; it’s so much more meaningful than it was when everything revolved around my body fat percentage. That’s because I have so much more to offer the world than a lean physique, and so do you.Now, understand that I am not saying that fat loss is not a worthy pursuit. I’m not insinuating that wanting to lose fat is wrong or meaningless in any way whatsoever. Fat loss pursuits are valuable as long as they are done with positive intentions, self-love, and compassion.


Oh, man. Tonight was one of those nights. Where I, as usually grounded secure girl, totally feels like the slow, fat, weak sucky chick. This is a good reminder for me to focus on more than just my physical accomplishments (#s, reps, run pace). Especially when I am in such an intense season of challenging physical tests.
Tomorrow is another day! Thanks for the reminder that comparisons, and self critically beating ourselves, is useless.
My response: give the critic a moment, then shut her down. Work harder, and remember I am a body, mind, and a soul!!
L.
Oh wow! You’re walking through such an interesting, new and challenging time, Lyndsay… And I’m so proud of you! Grab life by the burpees and have fun tonight – and know that you are capable and strong and healthy and fun. Hope it goes well!
I can completely relate to this post as that was me 2 years ago – constantly thinking about myself, my workouts, what I was eating. It essentially reached the point of obsession and led to a lot of extra and unnecessary stress! Having finally come to that realization and taking a step back I feel so much better. And my mind is freed for a lot more (important) things! One of the words I actually chose for 2014 was give – to really turn my focus to others!
I love that! Great word for the year and thanks for sharing a bit of your story, Danielle. Glad you’re in a different spot now! 😀
It’s a tough one… and it’s not just the ladies. Us fellas think about it too.
Definitely. I only made one reference to men in the post (so as not to exclude them), so hearing from you affirms that everyone struggles with this. Thanks for the comment. 🙂
Whoa – every 30 seconds!?!? That’s crazy but I can definitely see that it’s true. We’re bombarded with it everywhere about body image, what to eat, what not to eat. It’s a tough balance but one thought can change your whole outlook and day. I always try to start the day with a positive intention in my conscious to set the tone. Some days it works!
Yes, it IS everywhere! And starting the day mindfully is a GREAT way to combat those thoughts. 🙂 Love that!
the THIRTY SECOND number always blows my mind.
reason #283782 Im a misfit.
xo
A misfit in the best way possible!
I tend to have these thoughts more on days that i don’t work out – part of why I try to move every day!!!
I truly had no idea that it was that often – I sort of want to track it next time!!
Good idea! Tracking it for yourself would be interesting – if we’re more mindful of how often it happens I think we can be better at stopping it and making other choices. I’m with you on the workout thing too, and I’m learning to let good walks or daily movement, not necessarily “hard core workouts,” contribute to that too. 🙂 Thanks for the comment, Kim!
I have definitely been unkind lately. Always thinking I could have tried a little harder in my run or held my plank a little longer. Ran faster, ate better today…the list goes on. I have changed outfits in the last couple of weeks because I felt I looked bloated or not as slimming….very sad when it’s far from the truth. Thanks for this post!!
Far from the truth most definitely. Thanks for the comment and your honesty; all I can say is we’ve all been there! I hope you’re able to think more kindly on yourself and see the truth about your efforts and body, and to go forward living full blast! Have a great day, Bryanna!
Ah the struggle with Balance – we’ve all been there for sure!! I strive to focus on progress and the things I love about myself. Not that there aren’t things I want to improve, but I am joyful about what I have done and how much I can do. 🙂
Awesome! Stay joyful, friend! 😀
Love this, as always. It’s always a constant battle with me but one I am winning. I have days where I hardly give myself a thought and then those days where I just can’t stop struggling with those demons. Luckily much more of the good days than bad though!
Love yourself!
I’m with you – I’m winning the battle but sometimes fall down too. 😉 Let’s keep moving forward!
those thoughts, yes, they SUCK you in. That’s when i surrender to God in prayer
They DO suck you in! Surrendering is so key…thanks for bringing that up!
beautiful thoughts- thank you for sharing!! at first I balked at the idea of every 30 seconds…….but I’m inclined the think it’s actually true. say NO to the assessment of my physical body and YES to the study of my soul!
It’s amazing how much we can put ourselves down, thinking we aren’t ever good enough. I’ve learned that I am who I am and to embrace the person I have become. I am me, unique in every way, shape and form.
Great post! We could all stand to be kinder to ourselves. I’ve been facing down a few health issues lately and while it’s really frustrating to get a set back in my fitness, it has been helpful mentally while I’ve been forced to slow down and take it really easy while I recover. I’ve spent a lot of time sitting in one place recalibrating this weekend while my back heals, rather than running around doing 75 things at once, and feel like I have been very kind to myself as a result. While I don’t recommend getting injured, physically literally doing less has helped me stop my thoughts being a busy blur of chores to do and what my next meal will be!
This was a really great post. Inspiring. It is hard to believe that this is such an issue these days in society – what you look like is what you are, who you are – bagh… SO much that it gets the best of us.. EVERY.THIRTY.SECONDS.. Let’s turn it around.. if you have to think about yourself that often, in that light, then maybe start with something positive and then stop there, and move on.. perhaps one day we’ll forget we even thought that way about ourselves.